Take Responsibility, No Blaming

Nowaday I think we as people are some very curious creatures. At the same time of possessing a mentality that we are capable to control anything and everything, inside and outside ourselves, we are also finding more and more excuses to promote the notion that we cannot help ourselves of becoming the way we are (ie. genetics).

However, it is my sincere belief that at some point in life, we have to begin to take true responsibility. We have to acknowlege that my world, my life, ME!, is a direct result of my intention, thoughts, and decisions because if we don’t, we are in fact implicitly acknowledging that we are helpless little human beings, which is exactly against what we think and what we want to think we are anyways.

I accept 100% my being as it is and I take full responsibility for it (as my own doings).

There, that’s basically all I should need to say today…what? Explanation…arrrr…fine..

As a child, there are a lot of decisions made for us, which are not under our control. But as we grow and become physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially independent, we have to start taking responsibility of ourselves. We are no longer the responsibilities of other people (parents, friends, relatives, bf/gf…).

To advance into adulthood is the realization that my reality is my responsibility.

I do not blame others for what happened to me.

It’s a bit unfortunate that our current society is built upon blaming others people, just take a look at the judicial system. “My son died of alcohol poisoning in a frat party…I’ll sue his friends…I’ll sue the school…” C’mon, I know it’s a tragedy for the parents, but the kid made his own decision to do what he did and he met his destiny. (yes, this may sound very harsh) And that’s yet without saying PERHAPS that the parents lack certain discipline/teachings in certain area for the child.

I have also witness real life example of someone blaming another for things that happened (actually, not happened) because of his own decisions. Quite sad.

Ok, so that was a very strong example. The idea is a bit hard to swallow and to get into our system. But again, without this, we are saying that we are helpless. I assure you there is a new sense of freedom if you do grasp it :)

Our brain is the most powerful possession that we have. It does so much processing of information for us everyday. However, we cannot fully utilize its power if we do not accept responsibility in order to make decisions on our lives base on those information, and perhaps with some gut feeling. Without first accepting responsibility, we had indirectly given up choosing our own decision, choosing our own reaction. We are letting others to make the decision for us.

If we come a full realization of this idea responsibility, we can become a much more proactive person and be able to accomplish many things in life! We worry less about what others think or feel about us, because that’s their decisions to make. All we can do is make the choice to give our best efforts, and the rest will have its flow. What others think cannot dictate our feelings because we are master of our reality.

I’m responsible for my reality and I’m taking control of it.

Combining with awareness, we should…

  • be aware when we commit a mistake, realize it’s our responsibility. Then face the result, take corrective actions, and learn from the mistake
  • also be aware when we make an improvement because of ourselves. Then recognize ourselves and feel mighty good about it :)

Originally posted 2012-03-20 09:45:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Size Does Not Matter

One thing I notice in Japan was smallness. No, I am not insulting their people. No, I am not insulting their men, either. Actually, many girls there are very cute… uh, yeah, getting off track.

I should say — large space does not matter.

Take a look at this picture.
IMG_3492

It is a picture of my hotel room in Kyoto. There is barely space between the bed and table for my butt. It reminds me much about the living space from my past years in Hong Kong.

But, I am not complaining.

The common sense we have is — “Oh, we got so many things, we need more space”

In a way, our desire for space is directly related to our desire for things. Conversely, when we get more space in the house, we often want to fill that space with more things. Oh, what a dilemma.

Perhaps, we can consider the following chain of thought — “Oh, we got so many things, perhaps we need to make space by getting rid of things, that we don’t need, or use.”

Personally, I loooooove having space, and also cleanliness. They are very soothing.

Let’s face it, most of our stuffs end up sitting around collecting dusts. Instead, why don’t we carefully consider what we reeeeeeeeeally need, and if we are getting something, make sure it is something we will use frequently?

Oh, I am such a genius. Just kidding.

Another thing that is small is the portion of a meal. Each dish and even hamburgers from McDonald’s are smaller, which sucks for me because I am constantly hungry from my intense gym’ing. But for most Americans, who sit most days in office and sit some more in front of TV at home, can be a great idea.

That leads me to my final thoughts.

Perhaps we can use more limits. Yes, you heard me, limits, instead of more freedom.

Perhaps too much freedom had lead us to lots of indulgence, and indulgence is a result of not being clear about what is truly important. More limits in our environments force us to value what we have and cherish the resources that are available.

In other words, physical limits can be a great catalyst for internal growth.

Using the living space as an example, if you have so few square feets, there are only so many things you can have. And what you have will be what you need or truly find important.

Or if parking size is like this, you think twice before getting an SUV!
IMG_4481

Ok, the car example is not very good. The living situation is too different. But about driving in Japan, most people from America probably can’t drive in Japan, uh, due to poor driving skills. I personally DON’T want to drive there.

Anyways, I want to say this…

Evolving the idea on limit. Next time when we are frustrated and want to complain, or feel like we are suffering immensely, or seem to have insatiable desires for other things, consider that, there will forever be somebody somewhere else who are a lot worse off than we are.

IMG_3257Maybe things could be better, but they can be a lot worse. Look at this picture featuring the tight quarters in Tokyo Metro’s human sardines.

I guess that is why seeing the world, experiencing different things, how people live differently, are so important. So we realize how things can be worse.

On this note, I attribute my non-narrow perspective and sometimes unique and bizarre mentality to my fortunate experience (well, also unfortunate because it sucked big times sometimes) of having moved and lived in drastically different places at an age (12) that I could make my own perception already. However, I give myself credits for choosing to look at both sides of things rather than seeing only the green on the other side.

Last thing, totally unrelated, is a picture near the famous cross section in Shibuya, Tokyo by Center Gai (センター街). Pretty, eh? (It was shot in Lost in Translation too — one of my favorite movies)
IMG_3251

Originally posted 2009-07-17 01:06:22. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Poor Tiger Woods

Man, the media just will not stop about reporting Tiger Woods. Ah, so typical.

As all of us hearing about the news, it is so easy for us to judge, to criticize, and to draw defaming conclusions about Tiger Woods. It is soooooooooo easy for us to call him immoral. What’s the fun in that? So instead of all that, let us look at the news from another angle.

Let’s say you were in the exact positions of Tiger Woods. With his great golf skill, fame, money, look… and thus finally [and most likely] the admirations of many ladies. Given all that, and then given the opportunities, to sleep and have affairs with beautiful women. And perhaps sometimes seriously seduced. Can you with utmost honesty answer that you would not had done the same?

Now, you do not really NEED to answer that. And you may think I am, but I am not trying to defend Tiger Woods either.

But if you answered with “NO!!” right the way, you probably hadn’t given it sincere thought and thus miss the point of what I wanted to say.

The point I am trying to get at is the why for which we need to ask ourselves such question.

And this is not so different than the question, “What is the sound of a one-handed clap?”

Originally posted 2009-12-15 00:09:12. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

A World of Patterns and The Limit of Language

In computer science, divide-and-conquer is a common technique applied in both practical programming and abstract algorithm to solve complex problems efficiently. In other words, a complex problem is continuously and/or recursively broken down to simple workable chunk to be managed, manipulated, and calculated individually, and finally re-combined to get a solution for the original problem. What a wonderful tactic!

Well well, does that sound kind of familiar? Maybe. Maybe not. I find it quite similar to the way we do things in life.

As humans, to make sense of life, to navigate through human community/society, and also for convenience, we break down reality into small chunks.

In nutshell, with our scientific mind, our logical mind, we analyze reality, break it down into “things” and give “things” names through words/language. As society and civilization become more and more complex, so more “things” and words are developed, and we begin to put many “things” and words together to develop patterns.

So in the beginning, there is reality but no thing.
Then we created things with language.
Then we create patterns of life with things and language.

And as days go by, we create more and more things, more and more words, and more and more patterns. And we are still going at creating more!

Patterns are like boxes.

So now, we are all given birth, and as we grow up, our parents and society would put us in boxes… and we grow up to put ours in boxes (perhaps some newly created ones)

Oh, you must be an upstanding citizen. Patriot who protects the countries. Muslim who worships Allah. Christian who preaches in the name of Jesus. You must be successful. You must make others happy. You are to love your parents. You should never lie. You must not have sex before marriage. You must obey the filial piety according to Confucius. You will become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, hedge fund manager or whatever. Work hard and you will succeed. Eat non-fat and you will be healthy. You need to get married, have a family, and have kids. Max out 401k and IRAs and you can retire. Oh my oh my! Boxes!

So you may be thinking now, “Are you saying we need to destroy and abolish “things”, words, and all patterns of life?” My answer is, “No”.

So what am I trying to get at?

My point is we are missing the point of living the whole way along. It is almost like we used divide-and-conquer without ever re-combining the simple workable chunks, but instead, keep on dividing the chunks into smaller chunks… On top of that, we completely forget the original problem we wanted to solve.

Surely, we all choose to live however we want. Here, I am entertaining the idea that there could be a more favorable experience of living. More specifically, to get better in touch with reality, and hence lead to the result of being able to find harmony with ourselves and our environment.

We have forgotten that we had created things, words, and patterns from the very beginning to navigate reality but they are not the reality. Yes, they are now part of our human reality but still, not THE reality.

Think of it this way, when you see a banana, you can call or think of it as banana. But if you don’t know the word, “banana”, is the banana still reality, or is it not?

You know it.

Reality is more than just words and patterns. When we lack the words and patterns to label and define parts of reality, it does not mean it is not reality!

And so we miss the point.

Us modern people since industrialization, let our logical minds completely dominate, to the point where, words and patterns ARE reality. When reality is something outside of the realm of our words and patterns, we get completely insecure and to make us feel alright again, we invent new patterns to try to force things the way we like, and if unsuccessful, we twist and bend words to conceal and cover the reality. That is, in a most simple example, we would deny a banana is there if we lack the word to call it.

As such, we are often either in denials, or in complete ignorance of reality to do what we need to do as real solution.

We take our patterns too literally. We take ourselves too seriously. Seriously!

Therefore, instead of tips, techniques, or methods, I write what I do here — mostly for my own enjoyment but also — it will be much more substantial for each of us to shift our fundamental attitude of life, of reality to bring about real change.

If I shall put it more strongly, beyond the limit of our rules and language, lies truth and enlightenment.

The one crucial step, to mature as a human being, to become wise, and probably even to enlightenment (if you are so inspired) is to learn the patterns but be able to set them asides, knowing that they are artificial.

Do no abandon words and patterns. Do not fight them. To make use of the patterns (as our original intent of creating them), we just need to re-understand them as patterns. As invention for our own convenience, words and patterns — developed through thoughts and conveyed by words — make good servants but poor masters.

Originally posted 2009-11-18 00:07:05. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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