Perceiving Duality – Seeing the Good AND the Bad

Awhile back, I talked about how people often Mistake on Extremity. That topic is directly related to the existing duality in life and our ability to perceive them. Why is perceiving duality important? Because without such perception, how are we to make informed and optimal decision big and small? How else can we find a balance in our life?

People love to identify themselves with certain identity or idea and then become advocates, enthusiasts, or zealots. Nothing wrong with that. It only becomes a hindrance when we forget that identity and idea are merely identity and idea, which is creation of someone’s mind or of our own and that other identities and ideas exist outside of the realms.

More specifically, we love to identify the good and the bad in life, and we do whatever it takes to stick with the good and avoid the bad at all cost. As such, we overlook the opposites are never apart from each other. Opposites exist because of each other. We have forgotten this.

The degree of goodness is solely dependent on the degree of badness that exists. In the pursuit of the greatest happiness, we inevitably generate the greatest sadness. In the pursuit of greater excitement and thrill, we create even greater boredom.

Good does not exist without bad.

Just like for a hero, for one to continue to be a hero, he needs a villain, and to be a greater hero, a greater villain must be created. Without villain, there is no hero. That is how either a hero becomes a villain, or go crazy holding onto the title of hero when his villain dies, and thereby becomes a villain himself… and allowing someone else to become hero.

Therefore people shall be thankful for their opposites. Like most recently, the anti-abortionists protesting about Obama… They should be thankful for his and pro-abortionists’ existence, otherwise, they would not be so important, be able to perform “meaningful” actions, and perhaps be bored doing nothing. The opposite is also true.

The same can be said of something more mundane — being a parent. When does someone become a parent? When his or her child is born. However, as the child continues to grow, one day would no longer be JUST a child. But, often time, parents are not able to cease and let go of the role of being parents (especially Asians). You see, parent is just a role, a label, an identity. It is not you, not your entire being. Yes, perform the responsibilities of a parent, but you too shall grow out of such role, as the child has from being a child. When you holds on to being parent, you lose the self.

You are not just a parent now, are you? If you must act like and think like you are completey and only as a parent, aren’t you turning yourself into someone who is capable of no tasks outside of being a parents?

It’s the same when people hold on to any identity. Holding on to anything makes one lose the self. It is the desires for permanence for these labels and things that are and will never be permanent that causes pain. What’s the saying?

Desire and attachment are suffering. [only if we don't see them for what they are]

We don’t need to discard our current ways of life. We do not have to discard our identities. Otherwise, don’t we all need to become monks and nuns?

We can simply see that they are just ways of life and identities. Then we start to learn and begin to see more and more inside and outside of ourselves. From seeing, we will naturally behave differently. And if you must want a reason, you will change for the better.

We can still pursue happiness or whatever else, but perceiving duality means that we then know it is a mere pursuit, not everything, not our entire life. When we find awareness to see this, we find peace. We learn to be content. We see things as they are, which include both the good and bad. Because of that, we learn to flow with the way things work, enhancing our effectiveness, confidence, and decisiveness.

Therefore, the capability of letting go lies not in literally letting everything go but being aware that things are just what they are. Ideas are ideas. Feelings are feeling. Thoughts are thoughts. Good can mean bad. Bad can mean good. All such concepts are mere creations of someone else’s mind or of our own. If we are controlled by them, does not it mean we are controlled by our own minds?

Seeing is letting go.

It’s almost like a game. And it is. It is a game, though we live as if it is not, and we get lost because we have made things so complicated. It is a game, where many many dualities work opposingly, yet cooperatively. A symbiotic relationship.

Though, one may need some courage or so called “leap of faith” to accept this “absurd” idea that life is a game. Anyways.

Ironically, this is not a game to be beaten. Because how can someone beats life? If one beats life, wouldn’t it be death?

Instead, enough is for us to see that it is a game. When we know it is a game, we stop living as if we a struggling to live. When we stop struggling to live, we begin to live, and our perception improves (no longer held back by illusions). When we gain perception and awareness, we learn to see dualities. We then learn the rules and learn to live better. As we live better, we learn more and more and become more interested about life — this wonderful game. Then we simply keep learning and living, truly as a human being, and it is no longer because we need to beat it, or that we must survive — as we already know it is a game.

From perceiving duality (awareness), we find peace amidst chaos.
From finding peace, we flow calmly within the game.
From seeing it’s a game, we let go and simply play.
From letting go and playing, we become curious in the seemingly mundane.
From curiosity, we gain more and more awareness (perception of duality).

From all those, we lose our identities and grow the real Self.

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3 Responses

  1. “But, often time, parents are not able to cease and let go of the role of being parents (especially Asians)”

    How true.

    But I’d have to say the balance of being a parent and being yourself instead of totally letting go of being a parent is what also defines your Self.

    I’ve always thought that you cannot have happiness without some sadness in the world, because you wouldn’t recognize being happy without having experienced being sad.

  2. Kin says:

    @FB – You are right. It is about the balance. Not to stop being a parent but still perform the responsibilities of a parent as yourself. It is a part of you, unless you remove the children in your life. Just not the entire you.

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