I wrote this awhile back:

We should not establish our happiness upon others’ pain
Nor should we establish others’ happiness upon our own pain
Perhaps it sounds a bit selfish, but it’s the same analogy as “If you want to manage other, manage yourself first.”
Equivalently, if you want to help others, please help yourself first.
There is a quote told by Omura to Captain Nathan Algren in The Last Samurai
“Too many mind. Mind sword, mind people watch, mind enemy. Too many mind…”

I find this quote very meaningful and philosophical. In other words…
We often worry about others too much or try to take care of everyone else, and as a result, what we should be doing are not being done.
We try to take care too much. We worry too much. Consequently, we lost sight of what means the most to ourselves. The goals for ourselves become blurry.
If we cannot take care of ourselves, how do we take care of others?
Therefore, I will maintain “the self”. Keep it healthy, keep it happy, keep improving it.
If I want to take care of others, I will first take care of myself.
If I want to love others, I will first love myself.
If I want to instruct others, I will first teach myself.
If I want to criticize others, I will first evaluate myself.
If I want to make others happy, I will first make myself happy.
Everything beings with “the self.”

我很久以前寫下的:

我們不要把自己的快樂建築在別人的痛苦上
也請不要把別人的快樂建築在自己的痛苦上
看似很自私的感覺, 但跟要管別人,先管自己的道理是一樣的
反過來說, 要幫忙別人, 請先幫助自己
有很多跟這差不多的話, from The Last Samurai:
“Too many mind. Mind sword, mind people watch, mind enemy. Too many mind…”
“你在意太多了. 在意劍, 在意旁觀者, 在意敵人. 在意太多了…”

這句話很有意思… 換句話說…
我們都只顧管他人, 自己應該做的都做得不好了
我們都管太多了, 在乎太多了, 弄得對我們自己來講的真正的意義, 真正的目標都模糊了
如果連自己都管不好, 要怎麼管其他人啊?
所以, 我要做好自己
如果我要照顧他人, 會先照顧好自己
如果我要愛他人, 我會先學好愛自己
如果我要指導他人, 我會先教好自己
如果我要批評他人, 我會先檢討自己
如果我要別人快樂, 我會先令自己快樂
一切由本身開始.

Now you must be thinking, how in the world are these 3 subjects connected? Check out the article What We Want More Than iPhone.

In DietTelevision.com’s poll of more than 1000 members of the Facebook community, 32-percent of respondents said they would rather reach their ideal goal weight compared to 30-percent who said they would most want to get an iPhone. Only 21-percent of respondents said they would most like to see Osama Bin Laden caught, while a mere seven percent most wanted to have dinner at the White House.

Of the women polled, 44-percent preferred to reach their ideal goal weight while only 23-percent desired the new iPhone.

Couple thoughts from reading the article
- I am glad that people still care more about their weight, health, and appearance more than the iPhone.
- It is somewhat depressing that more people care for an iPhone than seeing the world’s top terrorist taken out. Can I say materialistic?
- Women ARE more conscious about their weight than their counterpart, which is parallel to the social trend.

Now I have a question for you.
What do these 3 subjects have in common?

Think about it. Now if you really think about it, these 3 subjects that people want are things that all somehow will enable us to have a happier life.

So in other words, happiness IS our ultimate goal, which we often lose sight of in the midst we wanting all these things.

We often don’t consciously relate our wanting of these materials with our desire for happiness. And it’s exactly the same when we lose sight of the goal to achieve happiness when we are so ferverously pursuing success in personal development and personal finance that we would put ourselves through unnecessary pain. Some pain is inevitable in life and necessary as sacrifice for the future, but focus should be on “the ultimate goal.” We must consciously and critically think about these things that we want and also things that we do, whether they will bring us happiness.

Some personal experience as analogy
When I sometimes become frustrated with learning and practicing piano. I feel that I’m not improving quickly enough. “How come I can’t play this piece perfectly already!?!?” Yes, no doubt I want to get better in playing piano, but I forgot that is not the main reason for me to play. I then remind myself that I play because I enjoy playing the piano and I want to continue to enjoy playing. Getting better is the part of process, not the focus, not the goal. I need to focus on the joy of playing the piano. The improvement will come.

Between the housing slump and the effect of globalization, U.S. economy is highly dependent and driven by consumer spending based on data from the first half of the year. Why did I bring this up? We people who blog about personal finance have often mention the need to teach financial awareness. This is especially true after looking at the lowest American savings rate in ages. People should educate themselves about personal finance to be financially ready for the future, to be able to take care of the inevitable parts of life concerning personal finance…

But then, I think those business people (I’ll call them “the man” from here) don’t want people to be so financially aware…

“The man” don’t want us to understand to figure out lesser deals that means bigger profit margin for them.
“The man” don’t want us to be frugal.
“The man” don’t want us to have budgets.
“The man” want us to put all our money into their pockets!

I know. I know. It’s a bit “conspiracy-theory-ish”, but after all, the economy is ESPECIALLY depending on consumers’ spending these days.

Just a thought.

I saw a commercial on TV tonight advertising storage and warehouse space. It begins with a lady entering her garage from the house but her car is not in her plain sight, instead… you guessed it! She sees a crap load of household utilities, furnitures, etc. Simply a load of crap. She then beeps the car with the unlock remote, and it shows the car completely buried under all the junks. Since it is a storage commercial, it inescapably concludes with her showing a happy face as she is loading them junks into a rented storage.

You know what I think when I see that?

I see the result and disaster created from materialism. It reminds me of an old saying that goes something like the things we own end up owning us. How true!

Remember I talked about the nice and uplifting feeling from my Memorial weekend clean-up? It did take me awhile to learn and realize. I used to think maybe keeping those things around, there will be use for them somday, just MAYBE. But then I have come to learn that having all those things creates clutters that annoy and stress me out unconsciously. Why? I would attribute it to the loss of space, which leads to the feeling of being confined and closed in. On top of that, I have to figure out what to do with a lot of these items! Often time all the items we keep just do not have a real purpose and do nothing but take up space beyond the initial excitement after the purchase.

So we have to figure out what to do with them. Or they could just be around taking up living space. On top of that, we need to repair and maintain both items that get used and those that don’t. As all these tasks cost us time and effort, we are becoming the servants of materials. Materials that we made the choice to buy.

Thus, here are the few things I propose for us to do:

• Throw out or sell (craigslist/ebay/amazon…) unused, unnecessary items in the house – first step to fixing cluttered status quo. Do with cleaning.
• Consistently keep our space clean and organized – again, this keeps the mind clear and thus allows for thinking clearly.
• Have discipline when making purchases – understand if the item is needed, if it has its usage in daily living, and/or if it will be frequently used. If you must buy, buy things that offer lasting, long-term happiness, comfort, or higher standard of living.
• Keep it simple – do we really need all these furnitures, fancy electronics, Persian rugs, gadgets after all?
• Find peace and happiness within self – do not fall for “retail therapy” to fulfill these two purposes. Ask yourself, “Does it really make me happy long-term if I buy this?” or if it will just be a few seconds of joy right after purchasing, which begs the question if it’s worth it for dropping all those cash. Lasting peace and happiness are only to be found within.

Not only will these tips save you money from unnecessary expense. You won’t have to pay for these storage space too. Yay! Either way, it doesn’t hurt for you to think about the points above when you want to buy something.

On a last thought, I really wonder how in the world can someone accumulate so much stuff as to run out of space? Wouldn’t they realize how much space is left, then either clean up or control what more they buy? Oh well…

A majority of US population is getting one of their dreaded utility bills from Comcast. My 6 months period of Comcast service with the most basic cable TV and internet was just over, and my bill went from below $35 to above $60.

Yesterday, feeling being ripped off by Comcast, I called them up and then calmly and logically explaind how I can substitute the basic cable TV with an antenna that I already have ($15 –> $0) and cable internet with DSL ($40+ –> $20+). The gently-spoken rep on the phone promptly and kindly offered me these “existing deals” to reduce my internet bill combined with an upgrade of my cable TV to extended cable for a total of $50 per month until the end of 2007.

Hmmm, so it’s not as cheap as it was before, but I am getting more channels for a lower monthly fee. I would say it’s a good deal, and now I get them ESPN channels and all, hehe.

All it took is for me to call them. Need to cut down monthly expense? Feeling ripped off like I did? A lower cable+internet bill could be waiting if you take the initative to call Comcast too. What are you waiting for?