My answer would be yes to the question, if we live purely or mostly by the value of capitalism.
Otherwise, this post would not exist. Ha!

Living in this capitalistic world, I can to see why the people with [monetary] power could possibly not want people to gain knowledge. The knowledge that I’ll explain now.

I truly believe when it’s all said an done, true happiness lies within ourselves. Once we can find this peaceful, gentle, kind, compassionate self within ourselves, we can come to acceptance to our true self and therefore, be able to ALWAYS act upon that. And with that, we’ll continue to empower this identify of “self”, so we don’t lose control eating, spending, chasing after ephemeral, etc. In other word, NOT looking in the outside world or from materials to fulfill this happiness that is so grounded in human beings, and also the root of all our actions, if one cares to trace and think deep enough.

If it’s so easy, why aren’t we all happy yet?
Well, it is not easy.
Nor is it fancy.
Which is why you don’t always hear this. (or do you?)

And why capitalism means no true happiness?
Because if everyone starts to find “this way to happiness” because those sales people’s numbers will go down.

Or if they do somehow try to teach you this idea, they’ll sell it in DVDs…in a series, and keep you buying next DVDs that only contain missing or repetitive information from the last.
Maybe I’m being too cynical.
But nonetheless, I’m serious that they don’t want you to know.

If you think about what I said about finding happiness in yourself and THEN understand and THEN practice it, a lot of the goods and services that they claim will somehow directly or indirectly make you happier will no longer be needed. These myriads of consumeristic “things” they offer will lose their appeals and they will no longer have a business.

This is we why are bombarded with advertising, most plausibly.
Make us buy.
And keep buying.
Non-stop!
Keeps us from thinking.
Keep us from realizing.

Their advertising so advertently strives to remind and “brainwash” people that they need more “things” to be happy. Strategy may include confusion tactics, meaning that we may just got lured to buy because there is waaaaay too much information than we can ever process cause us to be in a state of confusion.

Either way, the main point of this post is NOT about discarding materials completely and going into monkhood.

We are commoners.
And we want certain standard of livings.
At least for comfort.
I know I do.

The POINT is…
We must work on the inside of ourselves to be truly happy.

I said it’s not easy, despite it being a simple idea. It is because to approach the state of true happiness that I mentioned requires continuous effort, to maintain and develop the ourselves. You need to be consistently aware of your mind, your body, your attitude. From that, you gather information about yourself only then to think and evaluate “what” to keep and “what” to discard and “what” to develop.

In fewer words…
You will maintain a consistent state of self-evaluation (aka. understand yourself).
You will maintain also a consistent effort to improve (aka. remove bad habits, make good new ones).

Yes, that’s why it’s not so easy, but then once you are in the groove, it doesn’t seem so tough either.
So every step you take in this manner will make you stronger for the next.
Didn’t I say life is a spiral before?

The thing is… Majority of population maybe able to start and keep up some extraordinary effort for a day, a week, several weeks, a month, several months…but years after years? I think we all know how it is. It is even harder when these business people don’t like this idea and would do anything to convince us otherwise.

But we all have to start from somewhere.
Why don’t you start today?
I know I have, otherwise this blog will not exist.

And even if my posts are confusing (hopefully not) and make no sense what-so-ever to you, check out the links I provide in the navigation on the right. Those personal finance and personal development blogs contain LOTS of great information and quality content that I myself have learned much from.

I’ve talked about the concept “keeping it simple” in a few posts before. I want to re-iterate the power of the concept of simplicity, in terms of things we can do everyday.

First of all, I truly believe simplicity is where happiness lies in life.
Now, let’s think about basic things that ourselves love to do.

For me –
I like to listen to music. I like singing. I like playing the piano. I like playing basketball. I like having a good conversation or “quality-chililng-time” with friends. I like reading a good book. I like surfing the web and learning about what others think and more stuffs in general. I like taking a walk on a good day. On and on…

I have spoken about my own interests and hobbies, but I’m sure you have a list of your own. Usually, these are all very basic simple things. And when you look at these things, they may have some fundamental cost but on the long term, it costs a lot less compared to the incessant chasing of trends and purchasing of materials.

Instead of going to the mall, wasting time and money on impulse purchase (maybe to keep up with neighbors, people you know, or other “Jones”), you can develop your skills on these simple things, these interests, these hobbies. This will not only save you money on the long run (in most cases), but you will be happier and feel better about yourself because you are doing what you actually want to do. It’s double the benefits! Isn’t this so much more wonderful?

For myself I know I won’t be happier by spending money and time at the mall or going on crazy outtings with whoever, and instead, I can spend time listening to music, or reading a book with soothing background music, or practicing piano, or any of the other things I mentioned. What do you think I will do?

Make no mistake, I still enjoy outtings with good friends and great companies, but never do I do it to fit in or because I have nothing to do.

So make a list of things you are interested in doing or would like to make hobbies of. Every time you want to fill the void of your time by doing things that’ll make you splurge money for the sake of gaining an instantaneous pleasure only for splurging, refer to the list and do one of the things on the list instead.

Even if you don’t save money, you’ll be doing something that will benefit yourself mentally and maker you happier in the long run. Much better than buying random things for no good reason or that you’ll deem useless and dismiss quickly.

I frequently mention the importance of communicating with the “self” and understanding the “self” for the sake of personal development. Tracking your assets, liabilities, and cash flow is the equivalent for your personal finance. It is also imperative for solving your money problems and solving your money problems.

When you want to find out the health of a company, a division in a company, a deli at the street corner, or any other business, what do you do?

Interview their executives? No.
Simply observe their customer flow? No.
Based on reputation? No.

Ok, I know you are not that stupid.
You will look at their:
– balance sheet for total outstanding assets, long-termand liabilities, and short-term liabilities
– cash flow for revenue, fixed operation cost, variable cost, and essentially, profit.

If you want to know the health of your financial situation, you have to keep track of the same thing.
To improve your financial situation, or to simply GET RICHER, you have to understand those same parameters for yourself.
Hence, the need to track your assets, liabilities, and cash flow.

If for nothing else, you should at least know your expense and income in order to spend less than you earn, which is the most basic thing in personal finance everyone should be doing, in order to NOT go brankrupt!

You don’t have to keep track of every nickel and dime, unless you want to.

There are softwares out there that can assit you in doing this AceMoney, Microsoft Money, Quicken… convenience includes allowing you to import a file with all the transactions in the month from your online credit card account into the software. It really only takes 5-10 minutes each week if you perform updates weekly.

Otherwise, you can simply keep a spread sheet of the balance of all your saving/loan accounts and major assets, updated on a monthly basis. With the total balance showing monthly, you can compare and see which direction your finance is heading… either be up or down!

The most significant thing that I’d say about this is that it will at least keep you above negative or from going bankrupt, even if you are too lazy to implement any concrete strategy to improve.

Why?

Because when you actually SEE your total balance in real, concrete numbers and it is going downward and perhaps, in the negative, in RED… I’m quite sure 99.99% of you can no longer deny the fact and notice that something’s wrong and something must be changed. Hopefully before you can no longer pay all your bills.

Versus just having one of these thoughts in your head, “Darn, I’m poor”, “Hmmm, I’m spending too much”, “Oh, I think I don’t have enough money”.

That is in equivalence to something I always think –
That if wars are still fought with knives and swords, spears and halberts, people would be much less willing to kill because they’ll actually feel the refuting sensation every time weapon enters the flesh of another fellow human’s body.

Seeing the numbers is kind of the same thing.
You feel the stings and blows every time you see your total balance decreasing.
Worse yet, in the red.

On a personl note, tracking of my expense is telling me that I am spending quite a bit lately, which is okay because I’m still spending below my income and it’s money worth-while to make myself and others around me happy. However, I am reminded that I should buckle down a little.

Let me ask, if you have heard people say…

That’s just me.
It’s just how I am.
I’m just being myself.
Let me be myself.
Just accept me for who I am.

Sounds familiar, eh?

Well, I’m gonna tell you.
We need to stop being ourselves.

So stop being yourself –
When “being yourself” means “I’m always right and everyone else is wrong”.
When “being yourself” means “I don’t want to listen to you”.
When “being yourself” means “I don’t give a crap about other people feel”.
When “being yourself” means “I don’t need to learn something new”.
When “being yourself” means “I just simply don’t want to change”.

I already feel like I want to strangle this person.
Just kidding, I’m very tolerant.

Maybe you believe you are striving for what you desire most, searching for the love of your life, or just trying to be happy or happier.
Or maybe you are just too darn complacent and comfortable.
Or maybe you are just too fearful of changes.

There is time when you need to wake up from “being yourself”.
Stop hiding behind this excuse.

When you feel you just reamin unhappy, unhealthy, unwealthy, unfulfilled, unloved, un-whatever…
When you are brimmed with negativity and are spreading your own negativity into the world of people around you…
And you are doing these continuously…
Maybe it’s time to stop being freakin’ yourself.

We need to be able to acknowledge our problems and accept the responsibility.
When you are “being yourself” but are hurting yourself in process, you are responsible.
When you are “being yourself” but are hurting others simultaneously, you are responsible.

It’s time for a change.
Either stop “being yourself” and change.
Or be ready for the consequence, eventually.

If you get to that point, at least don’t use the same darn phrase as excuse.
If you do use it, I may just have to land my fist on your face.
And smash it against a break wall.
Despite being a zealous pacifist.
Please don’t make me go there.

Enough joking.

Let me ask you:
Should your significant other accept you when you are being your inconsiderate self?
Should your children suffer physical or mental damage just because you are being your temperamental self?
Should your friends accept you when your are being your selfish self, where your actions are causing damage to them?
Should your boss and colleagues tolerate you when you are just being your “unconstrained” self?

And despite you are just “being yourself”…
Do you still insist “being yourself” and remain intractable?
Is the “yourself” what you really want to be?
Do you really know the qualities and attributes of the “yourself” that you want?
Why should you confine yourself for “being yourself”?

I leave you to think and answer these questions.

I wrote two posts before on:
– the tragedy at Stanford about May Zhou
– the tragedy on Virginia Tech

What provoked me to write today is that Mercury News from yesterday provided an update on May Zhou’s incident where they find her death palpably caused by an overdose of sleeping pills, making her death palpably a suicide. I said “palpably” because I’d still like to pay my condolence and respect for her father, who is still pursuing his private investigation…

Disclaimer: The following statements are purely speculative and not intended to provide any “truth” about the incidents. Please read with your own discretion.

Contradictingly, this makes me feel and perceive even MORE of the pain and solitude, which is definitely unimaginable, that May was experiencing. And ultimately, this is where I draw the parallel with the Virginia Tech student, Seung Hui Cho.

Despite the great disparity between the two’s situations and backgrounds, I sincerely believe that both faced the same internal struggle – a sense of loneliness due to others’ lack of understsanding of their true feelings and mentality, as society and others around them are quick to forced upon them pre-judgement and labels. In May’s case, she’s judged to be successful and happy because how she is so very accomplished and of great scholarship. In Cho’s case, he’s quickly identified as weird, queer, “keep-to-himself” most likely because appearance, backgrounds, and association with “mental problems.” Whatever it is, there is this pre-established “lens”, which others ALWAYS perceive them through that is the main cause of dis-communication. These lenses then become an automatic barrier that prevents May and Cho from being understood and communication on a deeper level. As their days go by with such continuance, pain accumulates and the degree of loneliness increases and finally gets to a point when they’re unbearable…

While May’s case requires no “solution”, let me point out how the Virginia Tech panel has just concluded from investigation into Cho’s case, they will not implement “solutions” that involve arming the school with more securities, adding locks on the classroom doors, offering of more mental health facility, etc. Note how this is not the only time that people come up with such “solutions” followed similar incidents.

Ah, their so-called solutions.

All the while, what we need is more compassion amongst ourselves, amongst human beings. What I see is a clear neglect of that in today’s society. We seem look so far and wide and through all these “complications”, then conclusively think by implementing these fancy, superficially sounded solutions will prevent such problems from happening again, meanwhile not understanding the most basic needs of people in general, at a very simple human level.

This, I think is the source of many problems.

Call me naive or foolish, but I think if someone, anyone has provided true regards to May and Cho’s feelings, and genuinly talk to them without prejudice, knowing that we’re all the same human beings, both tragedies could have been prevented.

I see solutions in nothing fancy. Just basic kindness. Just simple compassion.