Everything we have these days seem to be designed to be fast and easy for us to get somewhere, to have done something — always having a destination in the mind.

Everything we do had become a mean to an end.

When we do that, we have made the means almost meaningless. As such, when we reach the end, we will most certainly regret, or be in denial, because we have given up everything for this end… only that, this end… this moment you have hoped and wished and dreamed about is not much more special than all the other moments you have sacrificed, if it is more special at all.

That is why I said, “We are trying so hard to live now that we are not living.”

Everything is a mean to an end. For modern people, the end is a moving target. Then everything becomes a mean, meaning there is no end to their pursuit. They ignore this moment. They have little respect for
whatever they do now.

Living in the moment is just that. Not for sake of peace. Not for the sake of happiness. When you seek, you have not. But that is not what we teach. That is not what the society teach to next generation.

The idea of good behavior is no longer because of the good behavior itself but becase you can get something out of it. This agenda mindset, has seeped into most aspects of our daily life, and has led to the perversion of everything that we do. The rampant desire for an end has overwhelmed the quality of the means.

It is not wrong to have an end. Just that the means are always perverted (meaning, bad shit happens) when one is concern only about the end. Because we will do anything to get to the end. That’s how desires make us do bad things.

For example…

The virtue of frugality lies in its non-wastefulness, not because you will have lots of money and become millionaires.

The goal of relationship is the relationship itself, not because you NEED to network, or that you will become happy or you will get something out of the relationship.

The reason to create quality is for the quality itself.

One of the way I determine success now is, “Am I being sincere in the moment of doing whatever I am doing?” Sincere being the keyword. The more I can be sincere, the more “successful” I consider myself.

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I will just quickly recap a few things that’s been going on in my life. Those who do not care, you can stop here :)

My mixed choir at the local community had its first major public performance on Sunday. The concert was a success and was 3 seats (out of 400) from being sold out, in a brand new performance center on campus! I was happy with my own performance. Not perfect, but good. It is a good feeling to see myself improving over the last few months. From what I can hear, we sounded great and our audience seemd to be impress. Yay.

The concert was quite inclusive as it featured other groups including women choir and another local men’s choir and then, the performance includes acapaella, piano accompanied, pieces from different era, and a major choral piece with full orchestra — Gloria by Vivaldi. My personal favorite is a piece called If Music be the Food of Love.

Choir asides, I am learning this song, Se tu mami, se sospiri, for my other singing class, and also I am in the process of mastering Canon in C by Pachelbe. One of my favoirte piano piece! I’m really pushing myself to learn it, because it’s just my 3-4 years learning piano. You’ve probably heard it somewhere :)

All these while, I am still working, staying with my work out routine, and recovering from my 2 weeks old cold. A lot to keep up? Maybe, but if I die tomorrow, I would not care. Just living my life the best way I know how.

It’s no excuse though… but I want to share what’s happening that keeps me away from writing. Writing something haphazardly and not of quality just to have a blog post is the last thing I want.

Well, this is a little more about me than the usual writings :P

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I always thought that bonus is bonus, where bonus means something extra that is given when performance is above and beyond the norm, relative to a job scenario. Specifically, we must be careful performance is not measured on short-term and must be a balanced evaluation of both short-term and long-term benefits. And in real life, well, bonus is like icing on the cake. I still view bonus as such even now as I am working. I like them, but I do not count on one. That’s why we call it BONUS.

Past few days we keep hearing about the AIG bonus ordeal. I don’t mind them giving out bonus when they are due for performance, but obviously, we can agree that AIG’s performance and moreover, most of the financial sector and Wall Street’s performance call for no bonus. Not only what they did destroyed the value in the system (or created tremendous illusional value), they believe they deserve to take even more value away from it for personal gains.

Conscience anyone?

One article writes that AIG’s CEO Liddy said he needs to pay out “retention bonus”. Correct me if I am wrong, but I am not sure if retention is something to be worried about these days. There is also the generic claim that we need to keep financial expertsto fix up the system, but have we forgotten that these top people are the same people who dug us the abyss on the ground (and covered it up) in the first place over a period of time?

Truth be told, I would be ashamed to be paid anything if I had screwed things up so badly. I would be ashamed of all the money I was paid in the last few years. And why are the people that had led us into this mess still in their positions anyways? In the old days, if you have f***ed up so badly, you should at least have the gut to resign, if you didn’t get your butt fired in the first place. In the even older days, I think you will get your head loped off.

Accountability anyone?
Responsibility anyone?

Now the government is talking about regulations. Maybe. But that will do is for people to come up with new ways to circumvent the new regulations. The system is not right not because of the system. The system is not right because of the people.

I’m just going to ask a few questions now. I do not claim to have answers, but it is something that we all could think about.

Should it really be that the financial sector’s employees are “entitled” to bonus?
How did we come to “count on” bonuses?
How could so many claim to deserve their pay and bonus, individually, when their industry is entirely in shamble? Does not that equate to a citizen claiming he deserves food when his entire nation is starving? (at this point, I feel a little sick in my stomach)

Finally, the top people in companies are always paid in the millions…
But let’s be serious, how many millions does a person really NEED?

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We modern people have more or less gotten used to one way of living.
Allow me to try to sum up in a few words.

If this moment is good, I am happy, enthusiastic, excited, etc… I want more and I will do whatever it takes to get more.
If that moment is bad, I am sad, bored, frustrated, angry, etc… and I don’t want it and will do everything to avoid it.
Basically, we only want to live with the “good stuff” and never with the “bad stuff”.

Not saying that it’s wrong. It is one way of living indeed. However, have you ever thought that we do not have to live like that?

Perhaps you can try living in the moment. You may think this is just a spiritual, philosophical idea. It maybe so, but really, living in the moment is just another way to live life. Personally, I believe that this is the way to fully experience life.

Perhaps we live the way we do now because it has been repeated a million times to us by everyone and everything, in all shapes or forms, that we are to seek happiness in life. I used to think so and even wrote that our ultimate goal is happiness. That’s 2 years ago. Now, I think otherwise.

This leads to my ultimate question for the day.
What if it is not about being happy?

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to be happy. I want to be happy if I can. Surely, we have such preference. It is only natural as human. Being happy is nice and bringing happiness to others around is even nicer. But still, what if it is not about being happy?

I asked that because… well, it is impossible to always be happy. Especially, we can only be happy if there were sad times. And after all these time through learning and self-discovery, I realize, although we cannot always be happy, there is one thing we can always be. Peaceful. We can have peace — through good times and through bad times. We can always have peace.

And peace, is a result of the ability to live in the moment. It is an innate ability that we are all capable of, if we exercise our awareness.

We, everybody, can live in the moment through awareness. With awareness you accept each moment as is. Both good and bad. You exaggerate or deny neither of the opposites. You stop picking and choosing which moment you want and don’t want. You honestly see both good and bad, both happy and sad, and that they are two parts of a whole.

In happy moments, you wield yourself with peace and enjoy it fully, without dramatization nor attachment (trying to hold on to it forever). In sad moments, well, I will not say that you should enjoy it. I believe such is called masochism :) Just that, in the not so good moments, if you can still wield yourself with peace and make the best of it, perhaps greater good may come from the bad times.

Living in the moment.
Seeing things as is.
Fully experience everything.
The so called enlightenment… this is it.
Nothing special.
A lot of people say they want to “get there”, but it is not a destination either.
It’s a ceaseless process by itself.
You can get better at it like everything else, through practice.

How do you get better? You may wonder… I can provide a few suggestions. A large part of it has to deal with learning about yourself.

If living in the moment means experiencing things as is… it means for you to confront yourself. Yep, both the good sides and bad sides. Accept them. You may have bad thoughts in your mind, and that is okay. We are humans, bad thoughts can happen, but you can choose actions to take as to not to materialize it. Accept the bad thoughts. Accept the bad emotions. There are just as many good counterparts if not more. By being aware and accepting them, you learn about yourself.

Conversely, you can learn about yourself through your actions. Actions speak louder than words. If you allow yourself to be aware of your own actions, you learn about yourself. By seeing everything, you learn to honestly choose what you do not want for yourself next time.

You can also learn about yourself through other people. By that I mean, what you often see in other people is most likely what you see yourself as. You may deny it. But if you allow this observation, you may get past the denial easier!

Nobody else can do any of these for you. Only you can learn about yourself. Other people and things may serve as mirrors and guides, but that is it. Bruce Lee said (paraphrased), “All types of knowledge leads to self-knowledge. And ultimately, there is only self-help.” I believe he is on to something.

When you can finally see your true self and accept your whole self, you can finally see the reality as it is and do the best you can. You will have inner peace. You can also do your best. You can also honestly express your self because you are no longer all the different things you are supposed to be. When more and more people awake to themselves and the moment, we can stop declaring war on everything.

As of now, we are really fighting with everything that crosses our path. We even fight with ourselves because we even reject parts of what we are but what we are not supposed to be. We reject what we are not supposed to be because we are supposed to be something else.

We are supposed to prosper (continuously?). We are supposed to become rich (quickly?). We are supposed to be righteous. We are supposed to be religious. We are supposed to donate. We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to be equal. We are supposed to have certain level of living standard. We are supposed to have this and that.

We are not supposed to be unhappy. We are not supposed to depressed. We are not supposed to think evil thoughts. We are not supposed to be fat. We are not supposed to be poor. We are not supposed to offend other people.

I am no genius, but currently, don’t we have much more of the “not supposed to be” that “supposed to be”? And no wonder most people are tired, burnt out and not healthy, all these “supposed to be” and “not supposed to be”. So many to keep up with! We fight with ourselves internally because of these, and the fighting is manifesting itself in all the problems we face now.

Because of not living in the moment, we do not perceive everyone as human beings are of a whole, and let alone perceiving everything around us, and including ourselves, as a part of nature. We segregate by cultures, religions, families, names, groups, committees, advocates, trends, favorite celebrities, favorite sports, clothing, personalities…

I am not saying we are not to be any of the “supposed to be” or not be any of the “not supposed to be”. Neither am I saying we are supposed to be homogeneous.

It is great to have all the differences we have. That is the beauty of reality. But, those differences should not divide us. Yet, we allow them to divide ourselves, by us choosing what is “supposed to be” and “not supposed to be”. We want this and not that. We live by what we want. We each have our own incentives. In other words… Me, me, MEEEE!

Perhaps one day we can stop declaring war on everything.
One day we stop dividing amongst ourselves.
One day we can let go of all the “supposed to be” and “not supposed to be”.
One day each of us decides who we want to be through being aware, learning the self, and critically deciding actions to take.
One day we live in the moment and simply be, which is way simpler than keeping up with all those “supposed”. (Maybe then we won’t be so busy and tired)
One day everyone lives and treats other as human beings.
One day we live as a part of nature, instead of trying to be the owner. (I said trying because we will never become)
One day we can treat other creatures rightfully who are also part of this greater whole.
One day we can truly live, instead of trying so hard to live that we forget to live.
One day we can all live in the moment.

I hope that day will come.

Dare I say, this is the essense of all types of religions in the world, in their most original forms. Many of them preach love, kindness, compassion, courage. Well, true love, true kindness, true compassion, and true courage all spring forth from being in the moment, and by knowing your true self.

Dare I also say the following. Living in the moment and having inner peace may not make you the most successful and richest person in the world, but you will have something that worth way more and for now, very few have. You will have the moment, your true self, and peace.

The day the majority people can live in the moment, the day there will be a shift in the way we live as a society, but this has to start from the individual level. Each person doing his or her part.

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Last time I mentioned that a good outcome may come for everyone through the way the economy is going and the shedding of excess, if allowed (aka. if people stop screwing with the system). If we ever explore what I mean by “excess”, we will inevitably reach the agreement that such “excess” is related to the pursuit of external, materialistic, glamorous, yet ephemeral, things. The worst part, we have come to want them so badly that we became greedy, and we let our desires take us away from truly living — the “being” part as a human being.

So really, money problem is not money problem. Health problem is not really health problem. Environmental problem is not really environmental problem. All problems we have is but one problem. That would be our way of living, which lead to all those side effects.

There are a lot of names we can call it. Greed. Entitlement mentality. Instant gratification. Attachment to things. It does not really matter what we label it…

In the end, we have simply stopped living. We stop being. Have you ever wondered why we are called human BEINGs?

If you ask me what I am doing with my life now, I will answer you that I am to be present in the moment. All good things happen in the moment, and because I cannot think of a better way to put it, I will quote Shannon Lee, the daughter of Bruce Lee:

My philosophy on life, the thing that I work on the most is to be present in the moment. My father had a saying, to change with change is the changeless state. meaning, being there in the moment, if you are always in the moment then you are taking life head on and you are changing with every moment that comes. You are present and you are aware. It’s sort of the state of perfection to be in, and the place where all good things happen.

The good that can come out of all these pain is for us to return to the moment.

When you are NOT in the moment, you are looking at the past. You are looking at the future. You want all these things so you focus on your desires. You focus solely on your dreams and ideals (notice I said solely, not that dreams and ideals are a bad things). You let greed blinds your sight. You let emotions and thoughts dictate your decision. It is a state of unawareness.

In such state of unawareness, we want external things. We want things to change externally FOR us. We rarely look to ourselves for change. To change with change is the changeless state. To have inner change accompanying the outer change is the changeless state. When we seek only outer change to force the external state to match our desires, we introduce chaos into the system, which leads to consequence (chaos) in order to restore the system into a changeless state. (kind of like the concept of entropy in physics)

At the current state of global economy, a lot of pain is being felt, and it will probably get worse before it gets better. That is my assumption because as pain keeps increasing and reaches a certain threshold, people either break or make. If people don’t break, they will unavoidably have questions in the line of “What the F is going on? This is not working. Something is wrong? What is wrong? Maybe what we are doing is not what we are to do?”

When people ask those questions, that is the beginning of real (inner) change. That will be the starting point of people’s returning to the moment. A way to truly experience life.

Similar to many examples of individuals’ rebound when their life had bottomed out. At that point, they can crash and burn and they may try to run away. Violence could be one such way. Suicide is another. Violence is an unacceptance of the current state and one’s attempt to destroy it (forcing outer change). Suicide is also a denial of the current state where one sees no possibility of outer change and forget about inner change entirely. Both fundamentally display the attachment of how things should be.

On the other hand, when people bottomed out, we all have already heard how many successful came to be because they dug themselves out of it.

Something similar has to happen to the whole population. We are in the bottoming out phase, and we either dig ourselves out or crash and burn. This has to happen collectively while simultaneously, this process of inner change, toward awareness, a kind of awakening, can only occur by each person on his own, if he chooses to, if he desires it bad enough.

That means we will experience life in our unique manner still, each with our own truth, but in a higher statement of awareness, we will be living quite differently, not so destructively, not so all-to-his-own-ly. This is a state where we are truly compassionate to others and nature, not because we should, not because we need them.

Dare I say, if we look beyond all the bureaucracy, dogma, rules, traditions of all religions, this is the principle they share and try to teach — the principle of living in the moment.

Living in the moment does not mean living hedonistically. It is also NOT a carpe diem mentality.

Read Living in the Moment here. I will revisit it also in the next post.

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